Mental Health

What are some simple strategies individuals can use to benefit their mental health?

Unlocking Mental Wellness: Simple Strategies for a Balanced Mind

So simple strategies that you can use to benefit your mental health. One, get good quality sleep. It means more than we think it does. We currently live in a bit of a sleep-deprived nation and it shows getting good quality sleep will do wonders for your mood and for your mental health. Two, good quality interpersonal interactions. Now that doesn't mean that you have to go out and make friends every single place you go, but there is a mood boost and a positive mental health effect when we have positive interactions with other human beings. We are wired for connection. It is something that we need. So when you're isolated, when you're lonely, that does have a negative impact on your mental health. So make friends, make acquaintances, just talk some smack with someone in the line at Walmart, share some good moments with people, try to do that on a day-to-day basis, and that will actually really help you with your mental health. Exercise. And I don't mean lifting hundreds of pounds or running marathons, although if that's your jam, definitely go for it. But research indicates that you really only need about 20-30 minutes a day of cardiovascular exercise and not even high intensity, like go for a walk, you know, get into some kind of a sport. That does wonders for your mental health too. And the last one, which is my favorite, green spaces. Research has indicated that people who spend time in green spaces, you know, sitting in the grass under a tree, have a mood boost from that. And find yourself a park and sit there, do a little reading, try not to distract yourself too much, it'll benefit your mental health.

To benefit your mental health, get good quality sleep, have positive interpersonal interactions, exercise, and spend time in green spaces.

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Simple strategies to benefit your mental health include getting good quality sleep, having positive interpersonal interactions, engaging in regular exercise, and spending time in green spaces. Quality sleep plays a significant role in mood and mental well-being, so prioritize getting sufficient rest. Positive interactions with others, even small conversations or moments shared with acquaintances, can have a positive impact on mental health as humans are wired for connection. Engaging in exercise doesn't necessarily mean intense workouts; even 20-30 minutes of cardiovascular activity like walking or participation in sports can contribute to improved mental health. Lastly, spending time in green spaces, such as parks or nature areas, has been shown to boost mood. Find a park, sit under a tree, and enjoy moments of relaxation or reading to benefit your mental well-being.

How does trauma affect personality development?

The lasting impact of childhood trauma on personality development

As we consider how trauma can affect personality development, one of the major things that we need to think about is how old was the child at the age of the trauma event. If they were between the ages of zero and five, it will become a little bit more entrenched than if, say, they were a teenager. Most of who you're going to be, personality-wise, is very apparent by the time you're five years old. I'm not saying that's who you're going to be forever, but how you view yourself and how you view the world tends to be pretty well formed by that age. So if a child experiences trauma prior to that age, that trauma will shape how they view themselves, what they view as their personality traits. Now when a child has PTSD, and not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, I can talk about that in another video. But if a child has PTSD, they are experiencing the same thing an adult would be experiencing, only they don't have the cognitive capacity to deal with it. So they are re-experiencing the trauma in their heads. They are becoming hypervigilant and always on the lookout for being victimized again. They can develop problems with anger and aggression. They start to develop poor self-esteem, and they view themselves as not worthy of love and affection and warmth and attention. And it turns them into someone that they may not have become if they hadn't experienced that trauma. It can really impact your sense of self-worth and how you view relationships with other people.

Trauma experienced in childhood can have a significant impact on personality development. It can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which can cause hyper-vigilance, anger and aggression, and poor self-esteem. This can affect how a person views themselves and relationships with others.

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When considering the impact of trauma on personality development, the age at which the individual experienced the trauma is a crucial factor. If the trauma occurred between the ages of zero and five, it tends to have a more profound and lasting effect compared to experiences during adolescence. By the age of five, much of an individual's personality is already formed, influencing how they perceive themselves and the world.

For children who develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), they undergo similar experiences as adults but lack the cognitive capacity to cope with them effectively. They may constantly relive the trauma in their minds, become hyper-vigilant, and fear being victimized again. This can lead to issues with anger, aggression, and low self-esteem. They may develop a belief that they are unworthy of love, affection, warmth, and attention, altering their sense of self and impacting their relationships with others.

It's important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, and further discussion on that topic can be explored separately. However, trauma can significantly influence an individual's sense of self-worth and their perceptions of relationships with others.

Can you explain the importance of forgiveness in healing from relational trauma?

The Key to Healing from Relational Trauma: Self-Forgiveness

So I have what are some relatively controversial ideas about forgiveness, but I will say this. Forgiveness is important in healing from relational trauma, but not in the way that a lot of people like to project, right? A lot of the times people tell you you have to forgive people in order to heal and move on. I think that's nonsense. The only person that you truly, truly have to forgive is yourself, and that's incredibly important when it comes to relational trauma because there's always a component of that trauma that is about self-blame. It is about, I let this happen, I made this happen, this is my fault, and if you cannot actually forgive yourself for the role that you played in your own trauma, right, for recognizing the signs and not leaving, for not recognizing the signs, for staying too long, for holding on to hope when hope should have been dead. If you can't forgive yourself for those things, if you're holding that grudge against yourself, you can't move forward and you can't heal. I am of the mind that the only person that needs to be forgiven in any sense when it comes to relational trauma is yourself. Now you may want to for religious or spiritual or just whatever reasons that you have, you may want to work through and work towards forgiving another person and that is absolutely right, you can do that, but I don't want you to feel like that is a necessary component to your healing. It's not. What's really the most important part is to forgive yourself for whatever role it is that you perceive that you played in creating your own harm and trauma. That is what is needed for you to heal.

Forgiveness is an important part of healing from relational trauma, but the most important person to forgive is yourself.

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Forgiveness plays an important role in healing from relational trauma, but it may not align with traditional perspectives. Rather than focusing on forgiving others, I believe the key is to forgive oneself. This is especially significant in relational trauma, as self-blame often becomes intertwined with the experience. Many individuals feel responsible for what happened, thinking they allowed it or caused it. To move forward and heal, it's crucial to genuinely forgive oneself for the perceived role played in the trauma. Whether it's recognizing signs and not leaving, failing to see those signs, staying longer than necessary, or holding onto hope when it should have been let go, self-forgiveness is vital for progress and healing. While some may choose to work towards forgiving others for personal, religious, or spiritual reasons, I want to emphasize that it is not a necessary component of healing. What truly matters is forgiving oneself for any perceived contribution to their own harm and trauma. This self-forgiveness is what enables true healing to take place.

How can you support a loved one struggling with depression?

Understanding the Key to Supporting a Depressed Loved One

Supporting a depressed loved one is incredibly difficult because from the outside they look like they're okay, but they're not okay. And we often feel a need to try to fix it, and that doesn't help. One of the best ways that you can support your loved one who's struggling with depression is to be there. One of the things that depressed people generally feel most of the time is that their presence is a burden to the people that they care about. And the more you can help them feel like their presence in your life is needed, wanted, enjoyed, necessary, the better they will start to feel. It will be really difficult for them to internalize it, so the other really important thing is not to take it personally. It is very hurtful sometimes to hear someone that you love and care for say that they don't have anyone, that they have no support, that nobody cares. And you're like, hey, I care. It's really, really difficult not to take it personally, but that is something that you must work on because when they are depressed and their depression makes you feel upset or hurt, they will feel incredibly bad. They will feel terrible about making you feel that way because they do care about you and they do love you. The main way to support them is to be present, to offer loving kindness, to offer connection when they feel they don't deserve it, and to try your very best to not take their symptoms personally. It is not about you, and they really do not want you to be hurt.

The best way to support a loved one struggling with depression is to be present and offer loving kindness. Try not to take their symptoms personally as it is not about you and they do not want to hurt you.

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Supporting a loved one struggling with depression can be challenging. It's important to remember that even though they may seem okay on the outside, they are not okay. Trying to fix their depression won't help. One of the most effective ways to support them is by simply being there for them. Depressed individuals often feel like a burden, so making them feel needed, wanted, and enjoyed in your life can make a positive impact on their well-being. It may be difficult not to take their comments personally when they express feelings of having no support or nobody caring, but it's crucial not to internalize it. Remember that their words stem from their depression and try not to let it affect you personally. Being present, offering loving kindness, and maintaining connection even when they feel undeserving can make a significant difference. Lastly, remember that their symptoms are not about you, and they genuinely do not want to hurt you.

How can people overcome the fear of getting close to others after experiencing relational trauma?

Embracing Fear: Moving Forward After Relational Trauma

This is a really good question. It's one that comes up a lot in therapy. I will say that the question itself is a little bit skewed because I don't believe that you need to overcome fear. Fear is a valid emotion. It is part of our innate warning system. And I don't want people to overcome fear. I want you to feel your fear. I want you to interrogate it. Consider, is it warranted? Is it not? Is my reaction to something that's actually currently happening? Or am I reacting to something in the past? Feel your fear. And it's okay to have that fear. And it's okay to have that fear while you're moving forward, while you're taking chances in new relationships. Relational trauma is really, really hard. It can really set you back. And partially what happens for people when they are experiencing a lot of fear when it comes to getting close to other people after experiencing relational trauma, it's usually because they haven't given themselves enough time to heal. They haven't given themselves enough time to forgive themselves because that's a huge stumbling block. If you don't forgive yourself for staying too long or enduring too much or not speaking up or whatever it is, you will have a lot of difficulty on your healing journey. And so once you are really getting good with yourself, then you can start to address getting closer to other people. You have to recognize yourself as your top advocate before you're ready to get into a new relationship. Otherwise, your fear will always be about what the other person is going to do. And it won't be a confidence of what you are going to do in the event that they break your trust. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Fear is a valid emotion and it's okay to feel it. It is important to take time to forgive yourself for any past relational trauma before getting close to other people. Recognize yourself as your top advocate and build confidence in yourself so that you know how to handle any situation that may arise.

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Overcoming the fear of getting close to others after experiencing relational trauma is a common concern in therapy. However, I believe it's important to acknowledge that fear is a valid emotion and part of our innate warning system. Instead of trying to overcome fear, it's crucial to actually feel and interrogate it. Consider whether the fear is warranted, if it relates to current circumstances, or if it stems from past experiences. It's okay to experience fear while moving forward and taking chances in new relationships.

Relational trauma can be incredibly challenging and can set you back in forming new connections. Often, people experience fear when getting close to others because they haven't allowed themselves enough time to heal. It's important to give yourself time and forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings is a significant hurdle on the healing journey. Once you have developed a strong relationship with yourself, then you can start addressing getting closer to others.

Recognition of yourself as your own top advocate is essential before entering into new relationships. This ensures that your fear isn't solely centered around what the other person may do but instead focuses on your own confidence in how you will respond if trust is broken.

What can you do if you are having trouble letting go of something?

Letting Go: The Importance of Processing Emotions.

What can you do if you're having trouble letting go of something? That can be a very loaded sentence because letting go has a lot of connotations to it. But I will say this, if you are struggling to let go of something, allow yourself to hold on to it. I'm guessing that you're asking this question around holding a grudge or still being upset about something when other people feel that you should have gotten over it by now, that you should be past it, that I hate shoulds already, but I especially hate shoulds where another person is imposing their timeline on your emotional responses. That's not okay. So if you are having trouble letting go of something, there's a strong possibility it's because you haven't processed it enough yet. You haven't felt your anger, you haven't felt your sadness, you haven't felt your disappointment, you haven't come to grips with what it means that this thing happened. And so if you're just trying to move on and let go and silver lining this whole thing without giving yourself the space to actually process your emotions, then it's not time to let go. And anyone who's telling you that it's time to let go isn't really on your team. They're not really listening to you. They're not really interested in your own well-being. They're more interested in their own discomfort with you not having let it go yet. And it's not yours to manage.

If you're having trouble letting go of something, allow yourself to hold on to it. You need the time and space to process your emotions before you can truly let go.

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If you're struggling to let go of something, it's important to honor your own emotions and give yourself permission to hold on. Often, this struggle arises when others expect you to have moved on or gotten over something by now. However, it's crucial to reject the imposition of timelines on your emotional responses by others. If you're finding it difficult to let go, it may be because you haven't fully processed the situation yet. Take the time to feel your anger, sadness, disappointment, and come to terms with what has happened. Don't rush into trying to move on or find silver linings without allowing yourself space to process your emotions. Those who urge you to let go before you're ready are not truly supporting you or considering your well-being; they're more concerned with their own discomfort. Remember that managing the process of letting go is not their responsibility—it's yours.

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Tanisha M. Ranger, PsyD, CSAT is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual addiction/compulsion, chronic relationship problems, and trauma. She earned her doctorate from Widener University and has been a therapist for over nearly two decades. Ranger has sought additional training in sexual addiction, financial disorders, trauma treatment, couples therapy, and military members/families. She is a National Register Health Service Provider and provides a safe, supportive, nonjudgmental space. Ranger tailors her therapeutic approach to fit the client and problem, using integrative and client-centered techniques. She is passionate about helping her clients realize their own power.

Neither AnyQuestion nor its Experts provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment or otherwise provide professional healthcare services.

Dr. Tanisha M. Ranger, PsyD